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Biig up aii, you is de visitor to the Staines massive..
Booyakasha.
Big shout out goin out to the Ackney massive - aiii, Now check dis, de minnellium is a very special event coz it appens only once every two fousand years - so if u is ill or asleep on January de 31st den you iz missin a big night. A lot of human beins has aksed me, wot iz you doin for de night of de minnellium, I has negotiated double me normal salary for DJing for 2 hours at the Crooked Billet in Iver Heath - 36 squid (cash in hand, no questions answered) - shout out to the Billet possee. After dat I will be bringin togever de East and West Staines massiv in a historical peace gesture. We will be makin a human chane round de John Nike Leisure Centre in Bracknell, and will be passin round de "Minnellium spliff" dat I iz spent de last 6 months makin - from exactly 2000 Rizzla, an it has a little sumfin in it from every respecktable hash producin country in de world. I hope to bring de world togever in one puff. Now, wot is been de history of de last minnellium. Well two fousand years ago god created ... punani, an it went unchanged until 700 years later, when de shaven haven was invented - in Germany. In de middle of de 1700s sumbody had de brilliant idea of creatin panties to cover de fanny, an it took anover 50 years for anybody to have de brilliant idea to take dem off. Florence Nightingale also lived in de last minnellium an she had a lamp so you could see her punani in de dark. 1914 did not only see the start of de Vietnam War - which was won by Jean-Claud Van Dam for America an de USA - but it was also dat one of me ancestors invented de 'G-string' - which allow for full exposure ofde buttocks whilst keepin de aromas intact. Nobody knows wot will appen to de punani in de 20th century - I have my theories and hope to be at de fourfront of any research wot might be done. Me message for de new mimellium: keep it real, keep it clean, keep de peace...More coming soon aiii..